That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
