I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
