Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
