If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This baby is an asshole
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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