i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
