i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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