we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
