I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
