You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
