I hate your face
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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