Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
