The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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