The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
