No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
