My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
