I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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