its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
