and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
