All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
