After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
