wakey wakey hands off snakey
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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