he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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