Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize