CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
