It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
