ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
