North Korea, Best Korea!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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