One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
