im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
