Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
