Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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