Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize