honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Your penis caused this!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
