Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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