we're blogging at a bar
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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