imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
