I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
