New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize