he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
