i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize