Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
