Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
