my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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