no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
