grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
