You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
