so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Come on in and take your pants off
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