I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
