I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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