yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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