What did we do last night that was yellow?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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