im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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