So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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