There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Randomize
