He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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