The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
