I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
