State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize