She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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