You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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