dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
