In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
