My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
