Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
