Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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